Kiss me, I'm Catholic.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

"There was a disturbance!"

Sigh... my blogging ambitions are being mercilessly thwarted. If only I could tell you the secrets of my double life as the Liturgical Avenger.... but my enemies are many and powerful, and I would not want to arouse suspicion in the diocese of Los Angeles. I have said too much as it is. So here is my cover story, take it or leave it: I haven't been blogging because I can't figure out how to register my laptop on the school network. The administrator I wrote to hasn't emailed me back. That is why I have no pictures to give you.

But I do have sundry stories of my first three weeks at Christendom. First of all, here are two things I have discovered that you will not read in the College's promotional literature:

- There are more Trads at Christendom than you can shake a stick at.

- The woods behind Christendom are infested with Mexican bandits.

The first discovery did not suprise me - I met several Traddies at the summer program (including you, my dear lost_noldo), and Christendom is an ideal school for a Trad wanting a serious - and seriously Catholic - education. Still, it was a shock to see that half the girls at Mass wear mantillas. (Speaking of those thingumabobs, I finally joined the collective and bought one in DC. Whee! I could feel my POD quotient going through the ceiling...) I quickly fell in with four other Trads, and we decided to drive to Old Saint Mary's in DC every Sunday for the Low Mass. (We call ourselves the Quintrad... and we're planning a group blog. Because Christendom needs one, don't you think?)

I found out about the Mexican bandits in a more dramatic fashion. My friend Kathren (she calls herself Ren to distinguish herself from the rest of the Kathren's, Catherine's, Cathy's and so on) came back to Campion Hall the other day and cheerfully told us this story:

She had been having a picnic down by the river with some friends. As she was coming back up the path (by herself), she met a Mexican carrying a safe.

Ren: "Hey."

Bandit: "Hey, wanna come help me crack open this safe?"

Ren: "How about some other time?"

Bandit: "How about now?"

Ren: "How about later?"

Bandit: "..."

Bandit: "Oh man! You wouldn't call the cops on me, would you?"

Ren: "Nah, I'd never do that."

Satisfied, the Mexican trundled off with the safe, and Ren went back to the school. And called the police.

The police found the empty safe in the woods, but the Mexican was long gone. Apparently these Mexican safe-stealers have become a serious problem in the area, and there are Mexican gangs operating up and down the Shenandoah Valley. Exciting.


Well, this is the end of my dispatch from the Highest Tower of Regina Coeli. I'll be back with more to tell of Christendom... if the Mexican Mafia doesn't get me first.

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