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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

You Know You're an Orch Dork When...

Heh! I got this off of Scary how many I fit...

You Know You're an Orch Dork When...

-You buy light colored shirts to avoid rosin stains
-You get together with your friends and in the midst of deciding what to do, you find yourselves playing chamber music
-You don't go out on weekends because "you have an audition" the next day...or even orch dorkier, a rehearsal
-You buy things like cookie cutters and pasta in the shape of musical notes and instruments -You've put Tchaikovsky's birthday on your calendar
-You know every viola joke by heart
-When you think about it, you really don’t think the viola jokes are that funny because you know that they are all so TRUE
-You know what a Hammered Dulcimer is
-You have separate buddy for orch dorks and one for "regular people"
-You know the words to the choral version of The 1812 Overture
-You know that there is a choral version of The 1812 Overture
-You go to parties and people direct you right to the "orch dork corner"
-You've decorated the inside of your case...with things that pertain to music
-You know what an Austrian 6th chord is
-You don't mind getting up at 7 on Saturdays
-You carry around a pocket music dictionary...and read it just for fun
-You've named your instrument
-The highlight of your New Year's is the Mostly Mozart concert
-You follow along in the score when you listen to classical music
-You own scores

-You know what a hemidemisemiquaver is
-You find some way to incorporate music into all of your school research papers
-During your homework breaks you practice Shostakovich string quartets for fun
-You correct your friends when they call pieces "songs"
-You can draw various instruments on your etch-a-sketch
-You carry around a nail clipper
-You read program notes
-You play along with Mahler symphonies on the kazoo
-You know how to pronounce Dohnanyi
-You have friends with screen names like Carlpebach and CadenzaV2
-You sing Beethoven/Tchaikovsky symphonies in parts for fun
-You have random spasms which cause you to play Copland’s Rodeo
-You take up badminton to try and get your mind off your depression caused by orchestra ending for the year

-You see seating auditions as a social gathering
-You avoid gym volleyball to avoid hurting your fingers
-You can play the first and second violin parts of Tchaik 4 on cue
-You ask for reeds/bows/rosin/mutes for Christmas...and then cry when you don't get them
-You have a conniption when people clap between movements
-You start off conversations with things like, “The funniest thing happened last night during my 11 measures rest in the second movement of the Tchaikovsky...”

-When you come to a rut in the conversation, you show off your perfect pitch skills by singing A 440 to break the tension
-You protect your hands at all costs...except in the case of Egyptian ratscrew (?)
-The Shar catalog in the mail brightens your day
-You have Shar on speed dial
-You have a fit in choir when people don't cut off at the right time
-Your graduation (birthday, etc) party guest list contains more orch dorks than people from your school
-Shine is your favorite movie
-Whenever you're in school you think about how an orch dork school would be so much cooler
-You make fun of community choirs full of 70 year olds for fun
-You know Mozart's full name
-You get a copy of BMG's Encore Magazine twice a month
-You judge people's coolness by how well they can hoe-down
-You go nuts when you hear the school bell go off because you try to figure out what pitch it is
-You dance along with your “Dr. Beat”
-The A440 has gone off on your pocket metronome in the middle of English class
-You have inadvertently referred to Saturday as “audition day”
-You know all the tempo indications of the Beethoven symphonies and which conducters adhere the most strictly to them...
-You can play any given excerpt from Mozart's Haffner in your sleep. In fact, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to find yourself practicing the opening d octaves...
-You'd rather put a neon light on your music stand than on your honda.
-You've made more than 1 of your non-music friends watch The Red Violin because YOU thought it was cool. (Well, I make everyone listen to the soundtrack. Does that count?)
-Someone asks you what car you drive, and you respond: "Kreisler"
-You jump up and shout "That's the Verdi Missa de Requiem!" when you hear it on an SUV commercial.
-You just saw Master & Commander, and immediately wanted to play the cool Boccherini piece.

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